Seeking Light, Finding Life
For years, I was a spiritual seeker looking for healing, meaning and purpose in places that promised enlightenment and empowerment. I threw myself into New Age practices like tarot reading, channelling, and shadow work, convinced they held the answers to life.
But instead of finding peace, I found myself battling hidden anguish, spiritual pride, and a growing emptiness that no ritual or practice could fill. New Age promised healing and empowerment, but it left me disconnected, exhausted, and burdened by the weight of trying to “ascend” to something I could never reach or sustain for long.
Everything changed when I found Jesus. His love, truth, and grace saved me from the darkness I didn’t even realise I was trapped in. What I thought was “light” was leading me further away from life, joy, and peace.
This is my testimony – from temporary highs to the freedom and stability I’ve found in Christ. Whether you’re here out of curiosity, searching for answers, or simply exploring, I hope my story inspires gentle reflection, hope, and maybe even a deeper interest in Jesus.
The False Promises of New Age
My introduction to New Age began in December 2021 with a simple social media post. Intrigued, I started exploring YouTube content about psychic readings, the law of attraction, QHHT (Quantum Healing Hypnosis Technique), reincarnation, positive psychology, energy healing, and eventually topics on aliens and starseeds. The more I learned, the more I craved.
As someone who loves to research, I went deep – spending hundreds of hours consuming spiritual teachings, joining paid memberships, and booking Akashic readings and energy healing sessions. I became immersed in practices like oracle card readings, pendulum work, smudging, chanting, balancing chakras, shadow work, and light language. Eventually, I started channelling, doing trance meditations, and automatic writing.
At first, it felt euphoric. I believed I was healing, empowering myself, and contributing to a more loving and conscious world. But over time, the cracks began to show. By the second year, I became spiritually prideful and isolated, breaking off relationships because I believed I was “ascending” to higher dimensions. The fruit of my life wasn’t good, and this escapism left me disengaged, passive, exhausted, and increasingly empty.
No matter how much I did, it was never enough. I felt trapped in a cycle of needing more – more rituals, more practices, more “enlightenment” – and it all left me emotionally drained, ashamed, and further from the peace I so desperately wanted.
The Day I Met Jesus
In late 2024, I was finalising the draft of a poetry book – a creative project I’d written mainly through automatic writing. I was also building a life coaching business and training myself to connect with spirits through clairvoyance and clairaudience. At the time, I believed the paranormal experiences I was having were an “initiation” into something bigger.
Then, on 27 November 2024, everything changed. I was on my bed journaling, and trying to process the emotional heaviness I couldn’t seem to shake. I felt like a failure – overwhelmed by shame, overthinking everything, and breaking promises to myself and the people I loved.
As I wrote, something incredible happened. I wrote two lines that felt completely different from anything I’d ever written through automatic writing:
Patience, my child.
Peace be upon you.
Those words hit me like a lightning bolt and I felt a stirring deep within me that I couldn’t ignore. In a moment of desperation, I cried out – not to the universe or my “higher self,” but to Jesus. I told Him I couldn’t do this alone anymore and that I needed help.
That vulnerable surrender changed my life. I felt an incredible sense of peace – a stable, unshakable peace that I’d never experienced in New Age. It was as though a weight I didn’t even realise I was carrying had been lifted. In that moment, I knew that I had been freed from something dark and oppressive.
Finding Community, Purpose, and Joy Again
In the months since surrendering to Jesus, my life has transformed in ways I never imagined. For years, I felt disconnected from life, even though I believed I was deeply connected to the universe and Mother Earth. But stepping away from New Age practices showed me just how far I had drifted from reality, community, and purpose.
I used to think I’d never set foot in a church again. After attending Hillsong in 2018, I walked away hurt and disillusioned, vowing never to return. But in January 2025, I felt a nudge from the Holy Spirit to research churches grounded in biblical truth. I found one that wasn’t about prosperity teachings or feel-good messages, but about real, transformative faith.
Since then, I’ve joined a women’s Bible study group and a prayer group. I’m reading the Bible in full this year and building genuine, meaningful friendships with people who inspire and encourage me, who actively get involved in the world and love people like Jesus did.
For the first time in years, I feel connected to life again – engaging with people, making progress, and leaning on my faith. Having experienced deliverance in February, I now look back and see how many doors I had opened to darkness. I had no idea how much these influences were oppressing me and pulling me further from everything that brings life.
An Invitation to Hope and Peace
I’m sharing my story because I know what it feels like to search for peace and healing, only to end up feeling more lost. If you’re feeling that way – if you’re carrying a lingering emptiness you can’t seem to shake – I gently encourage you to explore Jesus for yourself.
You don’t need to master levels or rituals to know Him. There are no prerequisites, no pressure, and no judgment. Come as you are. He’s waiting for you with open arms, ready to offer the hope, peace, and joy you’ve been searching for.
