Let me tell what a game-changer restorative days are! Especially when you’re in an uncertain season, like I am – searching for jobs, waiting on agents for feedback, returning to social gatherings after years of isolation. A lot is going on!

We all have things going on. Life is busy and demanding, and it can often feel as though we’re caught up in a whirlwind with no option but to vasbyt (to endure in Afrikaans, pronounced “fuss-bait”). Not so? It’s how most of us have been programmed since childhood: Keep quiet. Carry on. Put your head down. Don’t complain. Just be grateful.

Well? How is that working out for most people these days?

I look around and I see many stressed, unhappy, sad people pretending they’ve got it all together. Pushing through. Plastering on fake smiles and social media updates, wishing for a holiday, an escape, a different life.

Maybe a bit dramatic, but you get the point.

Life is hard.

Let’s not even entertain those toxic positivity slogans. Or allow others to spiritually gaslight us into believing we’re “attracting our circumstances” because we haven’t done enough healing, meditating, manifesting, etc. Oh boy…. That’s a whole topic for another day!

Going dark in an always–on world

Disconnecting… Who’s got that luxury?

How nice that must be! I can almost hear the quiet pushback. And I get it! Because it’s how we’ve been conditioned since school days (remember those awards we got for 100% attendance?). This is how it started. Now, we live in a world where people would rather compete instead of collaborate, avoid instead of communicate, and emotionally check out instead of genuinely connecting with humility.

We’ve become so used to following a set narrative (trying to please strangers and perform and perfect), that we’ve forgotten what’s really important:

LIVING.

Living with more joy. That’s why we’re here – NOT to suffer and struggle on repeat. Not to simply survive, pay bills, and exist on a half-empty battery. That’s not living. I know it’s hard to feel joyful when you’re constantly stressed, mentally fatigued, or losing your zest for life while fighting your way through a daily hurricane of pressure.

Or, if you’re like me – wading through a murky chapter.

Many of us have felt the shift since 2020; certainty is sadly a thing of the past. It feels like the whole world is holding its breath, waiting for the next pandemic, natural disaster, World War 3, AI dystopia, economic crash, or gigantic asteroid to wipe out mankind.

I know it’s a bit dramatic, but tell me I’m wrong?

Even if we don’t verbally admit it, many people are on edge these days. On top of that, some of us are navigating caretaking responsibilities, new life changes or heavy grief.

So, restorative days are not a luxury in my mind; they’re a vital necessity for mental health.

‘Going dark’ means being (a little or a lot) less available than you’re used to. It can mean turning off notifications for a brief moment. It can mean being off social media, taking a personal or mental health (sick) day, or ignoring your phone or laptop for a day.

(But please, give your loved ones a head’s up, aka, communication!)

My restorative day – what it looks like

Fact? We’re not robots, and we don’t need to be hooked to technology all the time; it’s one of the things I see creating so much disconnection. Who are we trying to impress? And why are we fighting for attention in all the wrong places?

Questions I had to ask myself and answer honestly not too long ago.

It’s another reason for my recent Instagram hiatus, and can I tell you? That in itself has been plenty restorative for my spirit and mental energy!

Yesterday, I didn’t know I needed a recovery day. After all, I’m unemployed, and it’s not like I’m reactively rushing to build a business. So what do I have to complain about? Well, let’s see. When you haven’t been to a hairdresser in almost nine months (hello grey hairs) and you’re suddenly throwing yourself into multiple weekly social gatherings after isolating for a few years, it can be a little overwhelming (not to mention frustrating) to say the least!

Nevermind sporadic waves of self-doubt and feeling in limbo.

Yes, I’ve found Jesus, and I’m loving growing in my faith (praise God!), but I’m still human, living in a harsh, fallen world, just like everyone else. So, let’s not fool ourselves.

I know I need a restorative day when I get anxious over small things.

When I get irritated by just about everything, or struggle to be inspired, to laugh, or even to simply enjoy everyday things that usually light me up. Those are major red flags from my body that I’ve learned to listen to and trust over the years.

I spent the day on the couch yesterday. Lazy? You bet. My mind and body were screaming for a deliberate pause. I watched a movie and countless baking and travelling shows on YouTube – and I ignored my phone. I hydrated, read my Bible, prayed, jumped on my mini trampoline and apologised to my husband.

So, what changed?

I know I didn’t need to, but I suppose I felt a little guilty for taking that time. And he reminded me that it’s OK. Those moments happen to the best of us. We’re not meant to do hard things alone. We never were.

So, I went to bed last night feeling more relaxed but still somewhat mellow.

And then, I woke up this morning feeling like a new person.

The creative energy and inspiration I have today is wild. I’m on fire for life and projects again. My mood is high; I feel like I’ve got unlimited mental space, the ideas are pouring in, and I’m enthusiastic about things that weighed me down just a few days ago.

The power of a pause day.

I tell you, it’s something I will advocate for until I’m no longer here. That sliver of space changes everything – it gives your brain time to decompress and sort things out. You can’t do that when you’re going non-stop. A getaway is first prize, but this is a great alternative!

I don’t have children, and I’m not a caretaker, so I can’t sit here and give advice in those situations. But I can encourage you to share the load. It’s something I said to a lovely woman at church the other day. She’s looking after her very ill husband and struggling and she reminds me so much of my mom.

Let’s learn to lean on each other a bit more, even when it’s scary or it feels strange.

Ask for help – it took me a long time to understand that it’s not a weakness; it’s a strength. I wish my mom would’ve asked me for more help growing up, instead of breaking herself on repeat to be superwoman. She missed out on a lot of joy because she was trying to control everything and everyone. Please, let that go.

Life becomes easier when you give yourself permission to be imperfect, to be human.

Everyone is going through something right now – even when their social media updates paint a different story. Life is hard, yes, but we can still find plenty of joy and peace despite seasons – or a future – of uncertainty.

Above all else, remember you have an eternal cheerleader in your corner.

God (not the universe) has your back. Give it over to Him; talk to Jesus about whatever you’re struggling with… He went through it all and gave His life for our sins. He’s always listening and is there to gently guide us. All we need to do is have the courage to reach out and ask, to invite Him into our hearts and to admit that actually, we can’t do this life alone.

(Whew, what a relief!)

Even Jesus took time away from the masses to have restorative alone time, to pray in privacy high up on a mountain, and to rest. If nothing else I’ve written inspires you to push pause occasionally, I hope that this does.

We were never meant to do hard things alone.

Take a few hours or a day when you need it. Have an honest conversation, dare to be vulnerable, and watch how that changes things in your world and your life. It’s pretty incredible – I highly recommend it!

Leaving you with one of my favourite verses from Matthew: